Are Mom Groups Helpful or Annoying?

Sorting through the pros and cons of mom groups.

The best ways to make mom groups work for you.

by Jess Wartinger
Apr 24, 2018

If you’re a mom, you’ve likely been encouraged to be a part of a 'mom group': a group of women who meet together regularly to discuss everything related to motherhood. From sleeping to teething (and even the epic diaper blowouts), it’s rare to have a topic off-limits within this crowd.

While many women find these groups to be a foundation for building friendships with other mothers, a fair number have found mom groups to be annoying and even discouraging in their parenting journey.

So, which is it? Are mom groups worth the time and effort to get to? Here are the top benefits, biggest annoyances, and best ways to make a mom group work for you.

How Mom Groups are Helpful

There’s no denying the fact that the beginning of motherhood is a wonderful struggle. With lots to learn, recovering from giving birth, and sleep deprivation playing their part, the early days can be tough. Having a support group to walk with you can be a blessing.

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Here are the top five benefits of mom groups:

Looking Ahead - Participating in a scheduled mom’s group can give your week some structure and provide an activity to look forward to.
Mentoring - Chances are there is at least one parent in each mom group who has just walked through the stage you’re about to enter. From feeding advice to sleep questions, mom groups can provide insight into your current reality.
Adult Interactions - Although you are rarely home alone as a mother, being around children all the time can become lonely. Mom groups provide opportunities for conversations with other adults.
Finding Friends - Consistent participation in a mom group can yield long-term friendships for both you and your children. Planning to meet new people and interact with them openly is a fantastic way to develop new friendships.
Long Term Benefits - Mom groups can provide a framework for other benefits such as sharing childcare or babysitting swaps.

How Mom Groups are Annoying

For every mom who loves mom groups, there seems to be one who has an annoyance about them. There’s no denying that interacting closely with other parents can become a struggle.

Here are the top five annoyances of mom groups:

Mom Drama- While most moms don’t intentionally look to create drama, conversations can rapidly deteriorate to judgement of different parenting styles or shaming of other moms.
Comparison - When seeing a group of babies together, it’s far too easy to begin comparing which child has learned new skills this month and which hasn’t. Unhelpful advice about your child’s development may follow these observances.
Another To-Do - Getting out of the house with a baby is no small task. If mom groups aren’t supportive or include extra requirements (like a snack to bring) it can feel like another chore to keep up with.
Motherhood Rut - Mom groups can be so focused on child-rearing that it doesn’t end up being a rejuvenating break. Unless moms are willing to explore topics other than their child’s current developmental milestones, conversations will quickly become repetitive.
Awkward Moments - Mom groups can be awkward to be involved in. From introducing yourself to other mothers to breaking up squabbles over toys, interactions within groups run the risk of stepping on others toes and creating uncomfortable situations.

How to Make Mom Groups Work for You

It is possible to avoid the annoyances of mom groups and make them work in your favor.

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Try these five solutions to avoid the pitfalls and embrace the positive aspects of mom groups:

Look for moms that have similar parenting values as yourself.
Monitor the conversation, looking for moms who build each other up throughout their time together.
Reflect after visiting a mom’s group. You should feel encouraged and/or refreshed after spending time with other moms.
Decide which is a better investment for you: a group of moms or one-on-one relationships.
Plan to enjoy the process. Developing strong friendships doesn’t happen overnight; building new relationships is a journey.

What tips do you have for making mom groups a success?

Jess Wartinger

Jess Wartinger resides in rural New York with her husband and five children. Formerly an early elementary teacher, Jess currently spends her time loving her kids and holding down the fort at home.